What’s the difference between ‘Helping’ and ‘Rescuing’ someone…
Why it’s important to know the difference…🤔
As always I write from personal experience… 😳
Along my path of emotional and spiritual growth, I’ve become aware of the fine line between helping someone, and rescuing them… 🤔 of course I’m talking about day to day living… as opposed to calling out the emergency services… 🚑 🤣
As human beings, we have a natural desire to be helpful, we take pleasure in helping others… when we’re in any kind of healthy balanced relationship, we enjoy reciprocal give and take, a mutual helping hand when needed…
On the other hand, when we’re in an unbalanced relationship where we’re over giving, then we’re in an unreciprocal relationship… whether we are consciously aware of it or not… 😳… in most cases we’re unaware of our over giving… awareness develops over time from learning life lessons…
When we go beyond the call of duty and enter a cycle of over giving, we overstep our boundaries and become the enabler, allowing the dynamic to exist and continue… we become the rescuer for the other person… when we continue to rescue someone, we’re sheltering and protecting them from whatever experiences or tasks they don’t wish to face…
As the rescuer we enable codependent behaviour and we play our part in holding the other person back from learning their own life lessons, from growing and evolving as a soul… and we may even take on some of their negative karma by holding them back… enabling their stagnancy… and we can hold ourself back by remaining in a negative cycle…
Over time, as we live and learn, we may develop a level of self awareness and emotional maturity, and we learn about the need to set personal boundaries to protect our energy, sanity, nervous system and health… 😳
What I’m saying may all seem very obvious, but having experienced being the over giver in relationships, I now notice a lot of rescuing going on all the time…
Anyway, I hope this offers some insight into this dynamic… in the end, the rescuing doesn’t serve anyone… the rescuer becomes depleted, possibly ill, and the rescued is sheltered and protected from experiencing their valuable life lessons… and may remain stuck in codependent behaviour patterns…
The rescuer needs to maintain an awareness of when they are over giving, and also do their own shadow work to look at why they feel the need to rescue, once they become aware of their own behaviour… 🫣… it usually comes down to love in the end, looking for love… often in the wrong places…🫣
Enough for now 😵💫
With love
Victoria 💗🦋🙏🏻
Moi, 2025