What are Boundaries…🤚🏼
And why do we need them… 🤔
As always I write in my own words, from my own experience... ✍️
I met someone this week who has realised they have been a people pleaser, and is becoming aware of the need to develop boundaries for their own energetic protection…
The first step in boundary setting is to develop an awareness that boundaries are required…
I come across people and situations all the time, where boundaries need to be set, developed and held firm… so I’ve updated this article I wrote in 2025…
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I'd like to talk about Boundaries... not fences or walls 🤣... I'm referring to healthy personal energetic boundaries... 🤔
So what are boundaries and why do we need them? My discovery for the need to set healthy boundaries has evolved through life experiences… which became harsher and louder until I finally 'got it'... I badly needed to have boundaries in my life and relationships to protect my sensitive energy, my health and my life 😳… as an Empath I always found it hard to say No and risk the potential backlash of others…
We're not taught about boundaries at school... that valuable lesson is forged in the school of life… 😳
Growing up I always saw the good in everyone and everything, even when I was bullied at school, pushed to tears at work, disrespected in relationships… I always believed others were like me… that others had my highest interests at heart 😳
A Psychic said to me when I was in my 30s to stop looking at life through rose-tinted glasses... I didn’t really know what she meant… 🤔
Life has shown me the need to have boundaries and to hold them firm… I’d always struggled to express my feelings… when I began to clearly voice my wishes… and when my boundaries weren’t respected I set firmer boundaries and attempted to maintain them... by being clear, forceful and saying No… my boundaries were pushed, tested and often trampled to the ground 😳… I now see I needed to maintain strong boundaries, as a protective energy shield when I needed one 🛡️
With hindsight I see that life experiences were sent to strengthen me, to teach me to stand up for myself, to stand my ground, to firmly say No when disrespected 😳 ... It takes courage for a sensitive people-pleaser to be authentic and say No, and risk the backlash from aggravating others...
I feel that we can use boundaries as a testing ground, to test others, to see how others react to our boundaries, and this can help us choose our friends wisely 🥰 I don’t want to mix with people who deliberately push my boundaries, or actually, give me the need to have boundaries at all… 😳 those people are not true friends, because they are not being respectful of my wishes…
It's a developed life skill to gain confidence to say No in a constructive way... to protect one’s health and well-being… I’m also aware that strong boundaries can be barriers, so it’s about discerning when boundaries are required, and finding the balance… ⚖️
I set boundaries and reclaim my power... 🗡️
Setting boundaries is an act of self love…
Victoria 🐦🔥
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Me, circa 2003